Ponder Post: Sad but Inspiring

Often I find very unique and interesting books at the dollar store. I had picked up the softcover Two Kisses for Maddy by Matthew Logelin mainly because of the engaging picture on the cover and the timing, going down to SoCal for my granddaughter Vivian's first birthday. The birthday party had a daddy-daughter theme and was for both my son Dan and his daughter Vivian since they share April as their birth month.  I described the party in my previous post.

Two Kisses for Maddy was a very sad story in which a young woman, Liz, gives birth and then, 27 hours later, without ever holding her baby, unexpectedly dies of a pulmonary embolism (blot clot) . Why did I read such a tear-jerking tale? I knew the premise was sad, but I was expecting the book to explore the development of the intimate bond between daddy and daughter especially in that first year. The book, although having an uplifting sense of triumph over adversity, was not what I expected.

Part One of the book describes Matt and Liz's ecstatically happy life with traveling and career growth pre-pregnancy. It relays their anticipation and joy during the pregnancy and how they clearly are very much in love with each other. Matt has a rather droll, self-deprecating view of himself and cites Liz as the better half of the relationship. Liz's death does not occur until the middle of the book. Even the medical personnel intimately involved with Maddy's mother were shocked at the freakish incident. In Part Two, the newly widowed dad is devoted to raising his prematurely born daughter and remembering his wife.The book title is because Matt always kisses Maddy twice, once for himself and once for her mom.

The story does relay poignant moments during the first year of Maddy's life, but not as I was anticipating. The description on the back cover cites all the help the father was to get from unexpected sources, one of which was the blogging community. I was expecting this help to be in the form of child care advice but the focus was more on dealing with grief. Although the father-daughter bond is indisputable, this book was more about how people deal differently with grief and how to let go without forgetting. The kindness and support people are capable of giving during hard times is inspiring.

A non-profit organization supporting widows, widowers, and those struggling to raise young children was born from this tragic incident, started on the overflow of the outpouring generosity toward Matt and Maddy. It can be accessed at http://thelizlogelinfoundation.org/. 

Only if you are in need of a cathartic experience, read this book and cry. I shed many a tear. It did however, sensitize me to the variety of ways folks handle grief. And it made me very grateful for my good fortune and mindful of  the saying  "There, but for the grace of God, go I".