The Great Gatsby

Last Friday night Frank and I went to one of the four annual dances of the Hayward Dance Club. The theme was The Great Gatsby.

This really was a larger than life spectacle of a movie.

I chose to wear a sparkly dress with a flirty hem and side frills since it would fit in with the dress code of the era. I love color and think I look better in brighter hues, but I deferred and wore black because it was a formal dance. A fluffy feather boa and a chunky ostentatious necklace completed the look. I posed and Frank took some photos before we left. Yes, I know I could lose some weight, but as well working on dropping the pounds, I am working on accepting myself the way I am.

When I saw the photos though, the thought that struck me was "In that black dress I look like Ursula, the Sea Witch, from The Little Mermaid. Observe the striking resemblance! Uncanny, isn't it?

"Never underestimate the importance of body language",
spoken by Ursula to Ariel when she was about to steal the little mermaid's voice.

Parallel postures, complete with black gown, crossed "legs", and large necklace at bosom.

Maybe it was because I had The Little Mermaid on my mind since we had just brought Alex up a replacement videotape. Maybe it was because I had selected Mahi-Mahi as my dinner menu selection. Whatever the reason, my brain made the association. I found these cartoon images after I saw the pictures so these parallel poses were not pre-planned. The sea witch images also reminded me of how I used to drive Robin and Dan crazy as kids by singing the chorus from Poor Unfortunate Souls to them when they complained. I'd croon dramatically in an anguished voice, "Poor unfortunate souls... in pain... in need...". You can hear the full song at this YouTube link.

We had a fun evening at the Great Gatsby dance. The table centerpieces were simple yet elegant, a martini glass draped with strings of pearls overflowing from the edges and an assortment of a few feathers, peacock and other, peeking out from the top. They really fit in well with the theme. I was waiting to blog about our night out until the formal pictures, taken as we entered the dance, were posted on line, but that has not happened yet. Maybe I will post an update when they are available.

The next morning, when I came downstairs at dawn's early light, I noticed where I had left my accessories and other paraphernalia strewn about the family room from the night before. I did not stage this photo but it sure looks like the morning after a night of debauchery.

And she left a trail...

Adding a few peacock feathers from the festivities can feed the imagination to create a tale that I 'll never tell.

Pearls, pumps, and peacock feathers.

Thinking back on Ursula from The Little Mermaid...  here is my favorite part of the lyrics found near the end of her featured song. Did I follow Ursula's advice?

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber.

They think a girl who gossips is a bore.

Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word.

And after all, dear what is idle prattle for?

Come on they're not all that impressed with conversation.

True gentlemen avoid it when they can.

But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn.

It's she who holds her tongue that gets her man.

Ponder Post: Cleaning

We had some pretty heavy rainfall the past couple days here in Livermore. But the sun was out today and I couldn't help but marvel how clean everything looked outside, having been freshly washed off. The sky was a brilliant blue, the clouds a snowy white, like all the dust particles had been pummeled away, allowing the sun to beam clearly through. I was also reveling in that the inside of the house was clean, too. We'd hired a cleaning service and last Thursday was the first day they'd come. But what inspired this? I no longer have a 40-hour a week job. I should have plenty of time to clean.  But I don't want to!

Fresh after a rain!

Maybe it was Dan and Carrie moving into a spit-spot clean newly constructed home. Maybe it was just a teensy-weensy bit of jealousy that niggled at me when I realized that Robin and Dan (and actually, Alex, too, in a way) have a cleaning service and Frank and I do not.

Maybe it was a phrase from a book I started reading that clinched it. The book was called Can't we talk about something more pleasant?, a memoir by Roz Chast that was on the New York Times best seller list. I had not appreciated that she is a cartoonist and the book was in comic strip style, not my favorite genre to read. I skimmed the first couple chapters and, even though the author had found a humorous way to deal with the depressing topic of aging parents, I did not want to read the book. Both because of the subject matter and method of delivery, I returned the book to the library unfinished. But a topic the author touched on in the first few pages was GRIME, and here is what she had to say about the home of her elderly parents when she visited.

What I noticed first was the level of GRIME. It's not ordinary dust, or dirt, or a greasy stovetop that hasn't been cleaned in a week or two. It's more of a coating that happens when people haven't cleaned in a really long time. Maybe because they're old, and they're tired, and they don't see what's going on.

I do not consider us geriatric. But in retirement and as we age, I did not want Frank and me to slip into the grip of grime. I did not like cleaning when I was working. I like it no more now in retirement. Plus, Frank and I are here a larger percentage of our time, we make messes more quickly, and they stare us in the face while we are home. Anyway, several days after we returned from SoCal and Dan and Carrie's move, I got up the nerve to dial the phone number I'd received for a recommended cleaning service. I'd been saving the e-mail with that recommendation for months, procrastinating. The person who gave us the number claimed that cleaning day was his favorite day of the week because it felt so great to come home to a sparkling house. He was right!

The service requests we stock certain products and store them in one pre-defined location for the cleaner's convenience and efficiency. The cleaning woman did great job, she was also very cheerful and friendly, but did not speak any English. She and I giggled as we tried to use an app on her phone to translate for us. Anyone who has used Siri can laugh and appreciated how what is said is often misinterpreted. Add a bilingual element, and the results are even more amusing. After the women had cleaned, the supervisor walked around and checked places for thoroughness that I never even noticed. But now I do.

The house is clean and it has the added bonus that it has inspired us to de-clutter more. I am chagrined at some of the items that were cleaned that just should have been thrown out. My biggest chuckle came a couple days later when I noticed a bit of decor in my bathroom. I truly do not think it was a commentary on how hard she worked. It was just proof of how thorough she was and that English was not her primary language.

R-e-L-a-x

Ponder Post: Oscar

I bought this book for $1 at our local Dollar Tree store because I'd vaguely remembered hearing about a cat that could sense when someone was about to die far more accurately than any medical indicators. The cat would stay by that person's side until they passed. The book is titled Making Rounds with Oscar by David Dosa, M.D. Dr Dosa is a geriatrician, a specialist in taking care of the elderly – as opposed to a pediatrician, who cares for the young.

One does not need to be a cat-lover for this book.
The feline is secondary to the tale.

Although I'd bought and read this book a couple months ago, I hesitated - no, avoided – blogging about it because it addresses such a depressing topic, people dying in nursing homes due to dementia. But the book was very heartwarming and poignant and reflected on the unlearning process during the end of life, in contrast to the blossoming learning at the early stages of life. The brain after all is an organ, too. Just as it develops in youth, it degenerates in age. Degeneration is just so much easier to accept and understand and compensate for when it's the heart or the kidneys or the lungs. I recently loaned the book out to a friend who is going through a tough time with her husband and so I reflected again on the stories in Making Rounds with Oscar.

Yes, there is a cat in the story, and a pretty remarkable and compassionate one at that, but it is the families of the elderly and not he that are the stars. The cat is the vehicle for the telling of the tales of each person's final hours and the reflections of the loved ones of those dying. It gives great insight into the odd habits and failing minds developed at the end of life, and leads to a greater understanding of the changes taking place as a person approaches death. I have much better insight now into my own dad's final days, though we were fortunate enough that he stayed pretty spry and lucid until the last few weeks of his 98 years.

My dad in 1998 at age 85.

What tipped the scales on me changing my mind and writing a post about this book was, oddly enough, the Super Bowl commercials this past weekend. This year the ads took on a softer side, not so much focused on drunken debauchery, big boobs, and careening cars, but instead, addressing family relationships, safety, and nurturing attitudes. I think this was a breath of fresh air in advertising that benefitted this nation of ours. So many of our sit coms and evening talk shows today thrive on some sort of put-down, derogatory humor.

Nobody wants to read a blog post that is negative and depressing, but I would like to consider this an uplifting topic, worthy of consideration. Tears streamed down my face for a lot of the time I was reading this book. But it was cathartic and will help me be more empathetic toward those with an aging parent, spouse, sibling, or friend with similar issues. I am glad I took the time to read and absorb this short, succinct view on the effects of dementia on the aged and its impact on their loved ones. The language was simple; the message was clear; the recounting of the stories was heartfelt. I think I became a bit better person for having read Making Rounds with Oscar.

Ponder Post: Heroes Are My Weakness

Travel and reading go hand in hand. Last week in the airports, on the planes, and late at night I read the book Heroes Are My Weakness by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. I liked it and thought the author used a clever  method to convey thoughts and feelings. The main character Annie was a ventriloquist and the thoughts bouncing around in her head were told to the reader using the voices of her puppets having a conversation.

I will definitely seek out other books by this author.

The setting is on an island off the coast of Maine in a chilling winter with a brooding Heathcliff type hero, a gothic castle type mansion, a quaint small cottage, a mute child, and a permeating air of some long dark held secret. It is a romance mystery so there were sex scenes but I thought they neither added nor detracted from the plot. I generally get my suggestions as to what to read from quilt blogs. Several quilters I follow are avid readers as well. We often have similar tastes. After reading Heroes Are My Weakness, I checked out what Amazon readers thought and the reviews varied widely.

The Amazon reviews of this book spanned a wide spectrum.

The psychology and mystery of this book made it a good read that I would highly recommend. I was both bemused and hooked after the first chapter.

Moving Week in SoCal

Frank and I flew down to Southern California last Friday, January 23rd to help Dan, Carrie, and Vivian move from their condominium in Aliso Viejo into their brand spanking new three-bedroom house in Lake Forest. Our flight from Oakland to Santa Ana was full but on time and uneventful. Dan picked us up at the airport mid-afternoon, dropped us at their old home in Aliso Viejo, and returned to his office to finish his work day.

Fair weather and on time flights made for a good trip down south.

Not even unpacking our own suitcases, Frank and I immediately began packing up the hutch and kitchen. Escrow would not close until Monday and transferral of the keys would not occur before then, so boxes and furniture, etc. would have to stay put for a while, using the garage and living room as staging areas. Frank and Dan created order out of the jumble of empty boxes collected for the move and piled helter-skelter in the garage. Vivian played amongst the typical moving chaos, oblivious to it. She found new things to explore and to use as a support when pulling to a stand and cruising. We spent the Saturday and Sunday with packing, IKEA trips, and a visit to the move-in-ready-but not-yet available home.

Vivian is enjoying her last few days at the Aliso Viejo home.

During our pre-move-in tour, Dan chills on the bedroom carpet in the new Lake Forest home.

Carrie, Dan, and Frank check out candidate locations for going to lunch on Sunday after the house visit.
I am holding Vivian while trying to take the rather comical photo
of three heads intently bent over their cell phone screens.

Bright and early Monday morning, Dan and Carrie headed to work and we stayed behind to pack and stage the garage. For the hutch china, pantry food, and kitchen items I used banker boxes from OfficeMax since they have carrying handles, a firm bottom, and a lid. Banker boxes are of a size that, even when fully loaded with china or books, they are a manageable weight. Once you get the knack and a rhythm down, they are quick to assemble and need no taping. We used three dozen of those hand-dandy items. It rained Monday night so even with keys in hand, the physical transferral of most furniture and boxes had to be delayed until the next day. Dan was anxious to make some presence in the new house though, so he and Frank brought over some rain-impervious items such as the bike, snowboards, and the master bed-frame but not the mattress.

Instructions to assemble a banker box.

We began moving stuff in earnest on Tuesday. Frank got up early and took Dan to work so we would have use of his truck. The trip between the two homes was about 11 miles and took approximately 25 minutes. With a back-log of packed boxes already in the garage, Frank could load Dan's pickup at the old home in Aliso Viejo, drive to the the new home in Lake Forest, unload, and be back in just over 1¼ hours.  Frank made six trips Tuesday while I packed more boxes to refill the staging area in the garage. Most of the three 15-pack bundles of banker boxes from Office Max were filled up with the kitchen, pantry, and hutch items alone.

Here are the banker boxes nestled amongst the sea of other boxes Carrie got off Craig's list from other people's moves.

I managed some "outside the box thinking" packing solutions for those items that did not quite fit. 

Where there is a will there is a way.

Dan, Carrie, and Vivian spent their first night in their new home Tuesday. Here is a picture Dan took of the sunrise out their front window on the Wednesday morning just before walking to work after their first night in Lake Forest. Dan and Carrie had to work all five days of moving week; having only the evenings to devote to the move. It made for a long days for them... and for us!

The soft glow of sunrise bathes their front court area.

Wednesday, Frank and I made fewer trips since we also packed in between each trip and re-used boxes. Plus we waited at the new home for the delivery of a the new sectional with sofa bed. The sectional had a matching round ottoman that fascinated Vivian as she cruised round and round it – no coffee table corner challenges requiring complex motor planning! That evening, Vivian took her first few wobbly, but independent, sequential steps across the kitchen hardwood flooring of the kitchen in the new home.

We saw Vivian takes her first steps at the new home.

After cheering along 10-month-old Vivian's milestone, we enjoyed the spectacular view of the sunset out the back windows. Going to sleep on the comfy new sofa bed in the new living room of the new home felt great after five nights of having shared an air mattress at Dan and Carrie's old place with their dog Snoopy. Snoopy is a solidly-built 60 lb pit bull mix who had been delighted to have night-time companions at his floor level in the living room. We had not been as thrilled as he and were quite content to no longer share sleeping arrangements.

Dan, Carrie, and Vivian have a view lot so their backyard seems wide open.

Thursday – more trips! Adding in the trips that Dan with a friend or Dan with Frank made each evening after Dan got off work, we counted 21 cumulative trips transferring items up through Thursday night. When Frank and I left Friday morning, there were a few items still left in the garage that needed to be moved so I suspect the count topped out at over two dozen trips. Thursday night we baby-sat Vivian while Dan and Carrie made a trip and then went for a Sushi dinner at one of their favorite haunts near their old home. I could not get Vivian to sleep in her crib, but did manage to lie with her on their bed, rub her back, and coax her to fall asleep there. I hope I did not set a new precedent...

Asleep, at last! Doesn't Vivian look so peaceful?

On the morning of Friday, January 30th, Frank and I drove Dan to work, and then came back to the house to say our other good byes. We sat with Vivian on the new round "cruising" ottoman that matched the new charcoal colored sectional sofa. Looks like we were still in our booties to protect the new hardwood floors and carpet. We did remember remove them before heading to the airport.

We give Vivian one last hug before departing for the airport.

We drove ourselves to the airport for our mid-morning Friday flight back to Livermore and left the truck parked there for Dan to retrieve later.

A quick cell phone photo told Dan where we'd parked the truck.

Frank and I arrived back home pretty tuckered out after our busy week, but happy we had been able to help our kids. These old bones may creak but at least they still work! As the saying goes, "It is better to wear out, than to rust out."