Alex to Prom

Begun five years ago by the Tim Tebow Foundation, there is an annual event dedicated to bringing the prom night experience to special needs adults. It now has spread to occur in 50 states and 24 countries.  A promotional highlights video for 2019 shows the process and extent of the Night To Shine event.  Attendees are met by an escort, get a ride in a limousine, walk into an event hall via a red carpet lined with cheering bystanders.  Each is crowned prom king or prom queen. There is music, dancing, food, karaoke. In our local event there were also calmer options offered for crafts and service animal pettings in other rooms. Alex attended our local Night To Shine event on Friday 2/8/19.

A week before we took him to Men's Wearhouse and rented him a tuxedo. The staff there were very patient and respectful with Alex, and aware that for him, comfort was of the utmost importance. Of course Alex gets a silly grin on him, bows his head, and is proud when people tell him how handsome he looks, but nevertheless, pride not withstanding, any article of clothing that is bugging him – off it will come. Our experience at Men's Wear house was great and sales clerks were well aware of the area event and gave a huge discount for Night to Shine customers. Alex allowed himself to be measured and did not balk at trying on several different sizes and styles to best suit his body proportions and natural stance. Our first glimpse of him in a tuxedo was in the fitting room. His shirt had a large enough neck that it did not pinch and the body comfortably fit around his generous middle. 

On Thursday, the day before Night To Shine, we picked up his ensemble and had one final try on at the store to make sure everything was as ordered. Alex is a big guy and his jacket size was larger than Frank's. After the mall pickup, we dropped off his tuxedo and other trappings at St. Denis home. Alex loves his white socks with gold toes but we were able to convince him the night of the prom that black socks with gold toes were equally okay. Even more amazing, he allowed his Green Bay Packers baseball hat to be held in reserve for him until after the Night to Shine festivities had concluded.

The event was held 6:00 pm to 9:00 pm at our county fairgrounds, less than 15 minutes away from the St Denis home where Alex lives with five other housemates and staff. On that Friday night  Frank and I arrived before 4:00 pm to help ready the prom goers. Alex's male room mate and three girls were going. Here is the desktop of makeup and other such essentials needed for readying the girls. 

The boys are not nearly as complicated. For Alex we just had to figure out how to insert the black studs in the shirt front and sleeves and to decide if the pleats on the cummerbund go up or down. After googling I confirmed what I thought I knew – that they face upward – to catch any crumbs that fall. (Not really the reason, but an easy way to remember it.)

Cummerbunds are meant to be worn with the pleats facing upward. Downward facing pleats are actually incorrect. ... This means that the trousers should be worn around the level of the navel, and half the cummerbund should cover the shirt, and the other half the trousers.

Frank's self-appointed task through all this preparation was to look debonair and make the rounds telling each girl how lovely and pretty she looked.

Alex stands by the front door ready to leave for an evening out. Note there is no green baseball cap and he allowed his socks to be black!

The five prom attendees were corralled for a group photo. The lovely lady directly in front of Alex is the home manager and to be credited for the hair, makeup, gowns, and jewelry of the three girls.

Frank and I, although not allowed in the prom ballroom, came decked out to enjoy a buffet meal and music in a separate room at the prom.

It was pouring rain that night so Frank and I helped hold umbrellas and shuttle the gussied-up guests out to the van that was to drive them to the fairgrounds. We drove to the fairgrounds and once there, Alex was met by two female escorts who whisked him out of the car and off to a waiting limousine. We parked and found out where the limousine would drop him off so we could cheer him on down the red carpet. The red carpet walk was shortened this year to accommodate for the rainy weather but it was still fun. I manage to get one blurry photo between the sea of moving heads of the onlookers. Looks like Alex has already been crowned.

This is Alex's second year attending Night To Shine and our first. Previous years parents and caregivers could watch a large screen with a live feed of the event but this year that was not the case. Frank and I were to be left totally in the dark about what Alex was up to. It was a bit unnerving, but then what kid wants his folks spying on him during his prom experience? Unable to contain ourselves, we did eventually sneak over for a peek in the prom area but never did find Alex. There were over 500 special needs guests, plus their escorts, plus all the volunteers running the event, so it is not surprising we could not located him in a sea of well over 1000 faces. The prom activities took place in three buildings at the fairground: one with loud music and dancing, one with food and karaoke, and a quieter option with crafts and visits by service animals. I know Alex would have loved the animals but I never learned if he ever got to see them or not. Someone we know sent us a cell phone photo of Alex sitting and hydrating right off the ball room dance floor area.

After the event Alex and his fellow prom-goers came into the parent area. Alex had a smile on his face so we suspect he had a good time. But then, he loves cacophony, so even just being in the midst of it as an observer, pleases Alex.

He promptly plopped himself down in a folding chair. He was very content just to sit so we concluded he was bit tired out. The room was somewhat cool so the sweaty glisten on his face made us guess, or at least hope, he had been actively having fun.

As we waited in line at the coat check to get an item of Alex's, I snapped a couple photos of the ballroom decorations with Alex silhouetted in the foreground.

After the event Frank & I and Alex went our separate ways. Alex to his St Denis home and Frank &  back to Livermore. Saturday morning, the next day, Frank and I collected his tuxedo from St. Denis and returned it to Men's Wearhouse. I pinned Alex's mementos – boutonniere, name tag, and pocket kerchief, to the curtain of the closet in his room to remind him of the event.  Many thanks to the volunteers who made it all happen.