Update on Frank's Hip Lifestyle

Today marks three weeks and a day from Frank's emergency hip replacement surgery after a nasty fall from a step ladder - more a mis-step ladder I should say. My Wander Or Ponder post dated December 15 titled Hip. Hip, and a Hampered Hooray tells the tale of the November 30th accident. Since surgery he has had two follow-up doctor visits where we had to load him in the car and drive him to a medical facility.

The first transport visit on 12/14/16 was to see a physician's assistant in orthopedics to check up on the wound and surgical site and ask general pain questions. At the hospital facility where the hip surgery was performed they had a curbside valet service that brought Frank a wheelchair and then parked the car for me. Nothing earth-shattering from the orthopedic exam, everything appears to be healing on schedule. Frank's stomach gave him some challenges. But we met them and made our exhausted way home. That outing tired him out.

The second transport visit on 12/21/16 really excited Frank. After complaining for three months about a "cold" or upper respiratory event that would not quit, Frank finally got to see an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist to address his plugged up ears that were driving him crazy. Unlike the orthopedic visit, this facility had no valet service. Manipulating Frank out of the car and into the building is a tale like that of a farmer who must transport a fox, a chicken, and a sack of grain across a river intact.

I park the car curbside in a temporary unloading zone. I run into the facility and get Frank a wheelchair with an appropriate seat height and side arms for support. I unload the walker we brought with us. Frank uses that to get out of the car and into the waiting wheelchair. I wheel Frank in the wheel chair indoors, carrying the folded up walker with us. I go back out to the car and park it in a less-temporary slot. I go back to the facility to rejoin Frank and take him to the doctor's office area. Frank was eager to be finally examined by a specialist, even though the effort of getting there tires him. The plugged ears have been frustrating for Frank, he claims possibly even more so than the hip, because he could not converse easily with well-wishers on the phone or with visitors or therapy personnel. I had to shout at him and the TV had to be blaring.

I must admit once indoors, the ENT office staff were extremely efficient in accommodating Frank's limited mobility. They brought an audiologist with her equipment to the examining room rather than moving Frank or asking him to return another day. They assessed he had no auditory nerve damage but indeed both ears behind the membrane were completely filled with fluid under pressure. Apparently in an adult, if ears do not drain of their own accord within three months, they are very unlikely to do so without intervention. The ENT doctor put tubes in each ear that day under a local. Here is the doctor's array of tools. Now I could see what my kids and grandkids went through and understand why children must be fully anesthetized.

Injecting the anesthetic was extremely painful. The doctor told Frank he would feel a slight burning sensation and then some pressure. Always ready with the railroad metaphors, Frank claimed it was like driving a railroad spike into his ear canal. Note his death grip on the chair arms. Gunky fluid was suctioned out. Frank had been storing that for weeks.

Ear tube insertion afterward was a piece of cake by comparison.

Frank no longer hears the continuous background sound of the ocean in his ears. Hearing will improve over the next couple weeks as the stretched ear drum membrane has a chance recover, relax, heal, and return to the flexibility it needs to vibrate with sound. We thanked the doctor profusely and left the office. After picking up antibiotic ear drops at the pharmacy, we undid our fox, chicken, and grain routine to drive home. The entire visit with travel time took about 4 hours. Frank was exhausted.

The license plates had arrived in the mail for the RAV4. I put the temporary Toyota dealer plates that had been on his new vehicle onto the head and foot of Frank's rented hospital bed.

Frank continues to have in-home physical therapy. He has graduated to walking laps with his walker outdoors in the joint-free paved street of our cul-de-sac. The sidewalk cracks are too much of a challenge just yet. Although not as rugged as the sidewalk, the street surface is not as sliding friendly as the our hardwood floors and it wears off the bottoms of the tennis balls. Once spherical, look how flat they are now. I think that is also an indicator on how much Frank needs to lean on the walker for support. So far three laps is my street walker's endurance limit.

Frank also wore holes clear through. Good thing one neighbor bought us a bag full of tennis balls and another neighbor slit them with an X to slip onto the walker legs.

Frank also has started practicing walking with a cane indoors where a wall or counter is by his right side for support. He is allowed to climb the stairs once a day with a cane and an assistant who acts more as an insurance policy rather than a support. He has also begun some resistance band exercises. The therapist is pleased with his progress and says he is ahead of schedule. He generally take just one pain pill a day and he often times it shortly before therapy. Yay!

When not exhausted, Frank is bored. Here he is helping me to organize some of my quilting notions using paraphernalia from his stamp collecting

  

We will have some calm now until after the first of the year. Frank's positional constraints will remain until a January 9th post-op visit. There will be no therapy or doctor visits between Christmas and New Year's Day. I plan to pick up Alex and bring him back to Livermore for a few hours on Christmas Day for a ham and pierogi dinner and to open some gifts. I have taken Alex bowling by myself but the last time he and Frank saw each other was November 29th, the day before Frank fractured his hip. Seeing each other will be good for both of them.

Ponder Post: Two By Two

Nicholas Sparks is one of my favorite authors and I have read every one of his novels; but I felt Two by Two was a big deviation from his normal works. Except for his Three Weeks with My Brother (April 2004), a travelogue of sorts, Nicholas Sparks writes love stories. Love stories are to be differentiated from romance novels. Nicholas Sparks describes the distinction in these words.

Love stories must use universal characters and settings. Romance novels are not bound by this requirement and characters can be rich, famous, or people who lived centuries ago, and the settings can be exotic. Love stories can differ in theme, romance novels have a general theme—"the taming of a man." And finally, romance novels usually have happy endings while love stories are not bound by this requirement. Love stories usually end tragically or, at best, on a bittersweet note.

Writing classes often purport that authors do best writing from their own experiences. Sparks and his wife of 25 years divorced in 2015. I was shocked to learn this earlier this year. Two by Two is about the dissolution of a marriage; it describes the angst that separation introduces into the lives of the couple and the confusion it inserts into the life of their daughter. I can perhaps understand why Sparks picked this topic, and even though it meets Sparks's definition of a "love story", I did not take pleasure in reading about this particular relationship gone awry. The couple in Two by Two were quite civilized and the self-analysis of their emotions was thought-provoking; but, nonetheless, the overall tone of the book was sad. Thankfully, in no way did their disagreements have the spitefulness and the vindictiveness of the divorcing couple in the 1989 movie War of the Roses starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. The breaking up in Two by Two was just... sigh... disheartening.

I can comprehend how this chosen topic could resonate with couples once in love who separate and divorce for various reasons. Maybe I can presume it was cathartic for the author to write. I can even admit that reading this novel expanded my horizons in a way that a view from 41 years of marriage could not. I saw aspects of a marriage that could indeed prove challenging. The story had the bittersweet sadness of a lost love, true, but it did not have the same tenderness that brings me to tears as most of his other books have done. I give this book 3 stars - a low score in my opinion for Nicholas Sparks. The literary quality of the book may be higher but I can not overcome my personal bias in order to rate it so. By the way, the "two by two" reference is not constrained to only the separating couple. Pairings in life also extended to the exploration of father/daughter and brother/sister relationships. These other non-marital interactions were actually quite touching and make a strong case for reading the book, despite its depressing theme.

Two by Two is Nicholas Sparks's twentieth novel. Here is the complete list of all twenty. The links are wikipedia links but beware. Wikipedia often contains spoilers so just read the first few lines to get a gist of the story and do not delve too deeply into the plot. Try out Amazon links instead, but avoid reader reviews who often divulge spoilers, too. Nicholas Sparks usually has a twist in his stories that I know to be on the alert for and yet nevertheless rarely see coming. My personal favorites among these novels were The Notebook, The Choice, and Safe Haven. For those eleven that were made into movies, the book was always better! Happy reading.

1. The Notebook (October 1996)
2. Message in a Bottle (April 1998)
3. A Walk to Remember (October 1999)
4. The Rescue (September 2000)
5. A Bend in the Road (September 2001)
6. Nights in Rodanthe (September 2002)
7. The Guardian (April 2003)
8. The Wedding (September 2003)
9. Three Weeks with My Brother (April 2004)
10. True Believer (April 2005)
11. At First Sight (October 2005)
12. Dear John (October 2006)
13. The Choice (September 2007)
14. The Lucky One (September 2008)
15. The Last Song (September 2009)
16. Safe Haven (September 2010)
17. The Best of Me (October 2011)
18. The Longest Ride (September 2013)
19. See Me (October 2015)
20. Two By Two (October 2016)

Before he became famous, Nicholas Sparks, co-authored a book with Billy Mills, a member of the Lakota American Indian tribe and the second Native American to become an Olympic Gold Medalist. I wanted to check the box that I had read all  books by Nicholas Sparks, not only his love stories. Not readily available in my local library, I was able to locate and purchase online a used copy of the book Wokini: A Lakota Journey to Happiness and Self-Understanding (1990). I am curious if any parts of it are similar to Two by Two. I'll let you know.

Ponder Post: The Christmas Wish and The Reindeer Wish

I bought The Christmas Wish and The Reindeer Wish for my grandchildren. The photography within, by Per Breiehagen, is awesome and young girl who is the main character is adorable. The story within, by Lori Evert, is whimsical and charming.

I also found the 21" tall doll that goes with the book to be irresistible. I cannot know for sure if the attraction is the allure of the doll or the weakness of a doting grandma. I bought an accompanying doll for each of the two older grandchildren.

And just so as not to leave anyone out, I got two 10" high bean bags for the younger kiddos.

I hope they like the dolls. I sure do. I love the blond braids, the tartan plaid dress, and the red elfin hat. After reading the books I give them 5 stars each, also. Hmm... maybe I will buy a doll and book set for me!

Hip Hip and a Hampered Hooray

The week preceding Thanksgiving, Frank spent a week in Oklahoma helping Robin with her two kids and some house projects while her husband Jeremy was on travel for his job. Frank worked on some bathroom repairs for them, did some daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, and in general got to spend some grandpa time with Isaiah and Autumn.

Frank arrived back home a couple days before Thanksgiving and he and I ate our holiday meal out at a restaurant. It was no muss, no fuss, tasty, and relaxing. We would start our Christmas holiday and guest preparations that weekend. The plan was for Robin's family of four and Dan's family of four to convene at our house mid-December for an early Christmas family reunion. Frank told me to make a written list of what I wanted done before they started arriving and to prioritize it. He claims that when I keep it all in my head and "dole it out" to him, I keep adding to it. I made that list of baby necessities and Christmas frills per his request. One item on our list was to buy a new, dependable car to replace his 1979 Chevy Cavalier - a big task, yes, but one Frank had been researching for months. The decision had been made and we just needed to buy the car. We bought a white Toyota RAV 4 the Monday after Thanksgiving and drove it home that very day.

The RAV 4 is a crossover vehicle. The hatchback is a departure from our usual trunk outfitted cars but Frank loved the overhead camera feature and the high ride and the generous head room. As an extra perk, we would have an extra vehicle for the kids' visit. Frank came in smiling from the the garage after having run some errands Tuesday, the day after we'd driven it home. He said, "You know, I always buy bottom of the line cars. But I really wanted all the safety features of the RAV 4 and so we had to buy the top of the line to get them. Boy! Is this car nice! I am going to enjoy it."

We began to get the Xmas decorations down from the attic so I could leisurely deck the halls. After train night in our garage on the Wednesday night following Thanksgiving, one of Frank's train buddies helped him get the crib down from the attic so Frank could assemble it and we'd be ahead of the game for guest arrivals in a week and a half. Frank had assembled the crib. I had made curtains for our master bedroom; one of the list items assigned to Frank was their installation. After dinner, before we settled down for a bit of TV watching and although he was a little tired, Frank decided to push ahead and mount those curtains that were temporarily thumbtacked up on the wall. He tripped and fell once over some wrinkles in the drop cloth he had spread out to assemble the crib. That should have been a clue to quit.

But he pressed on Wednesday night and shortly thereafter, about 8:30 pm on November 30th, I heard a loud thud and a yell and a few choice cuss words. Frank had slipped from the first step of a small step ladder he had set up in the window seat alcove. He fell a distance of maybe three feet or less, landing hard on his hip. He could not get up and screamed in pain when he tried to move. I called 911. The paramedics scooped him up into a hinged clamshell type stretcher, strapped him on, and carried him down our stairs. They loaded him and the stretcher as a unit onto a gurney waiting at the base of our stairs, rolled him out to an ambulance and transported him to the Walnut Creek Kaiser emergency room. As the doors of the ambulance were being closed, Frank yelled out to me, "Diane, throw out that list!"

Frank was placed in a bed at the ER and several hours later it was confirmed by X-ray that he had indeed fractured his hip. The knob part of the femur bone had cracked through at its smallest diameter. Repair would be ill-advised and instead the entire ball and socket joint would need to be replaced. Frank would require emergency hip replacement surgery. After this diagnosis of the damage we would need to wait until the next morning to speak to the orthopedic surgeon. I got home 3:00 am Thursday morning December 1st only to be back by 8:00 am to meet with the doctor. Scheduling could not promise that Frank would be accommodated for surgery on Thursday but were hopeful that he would not need to wait until Friday. We waited in limbo. Frank's surgery was started at 4:00 pm Thursday. Here he is being rolled in to the operating arena with a valiant attempt at two thumbs up.

Hip replacement like this is predicted to be a 3 hour surgery. True to form, Frank was in the recovery room shortly after 7:00 pm. I went in to see him and he was very groggy. He was looking at the channels on the ceiling where all the privacy curtains hang by chains. He wondered why there were tracks for a model train layout on the ceiling. Kaiser's goal was to have his hip replaced within 24 hours of having broken it and they succeeded. The next photo is proof that Frank is now the bionic man, or Bio-Dad as Robin dubbed him.

We were initially told that there could be one to two weeks in a rehabilitation facility before going home. However, Frank was doing well enough and his home situation was deemed sufficiently supportive that he did not qualify for a rehabilitation facility. He was pleased he would be home recuperating and not off somewhere else during the kids' visit. This also meant that Friday night I was scrabbling for the delivery of a hospital bed, a walker, and adaptive bathroom equipment. The living room furniture had already been reconfigured to squeeze in the Christmas tree. It was liked a timed game of Tetris to fit a hospital bed in the living room as well, made even more urgent by the deadline of Frank's arrival home. But it all worked out. Frank came home directly from the hospital on Saturday, December 3rd without a detour to rehab. Recovery will be long - probably about two to three months until the muscles cut in surgery are healed sufficiently that positional restrictions can be removed. Then there will be several months of physical therapy to regain range of motion, etc. 

Timing is everything. Having to go to a rehab facility could have been a downer because of the kids' upcoming visit. We dodged that bullet but still offered that they were free to cancel. They opted not to. I picked up Robin's family from the airport Wednesday morning December 7th while our friend John stayed with Frank. We were not inside the front door even five minutes when the physical therapist arrived for Frank. Dodging rolling suitcases and two children supercharged after spending 6+ hours on a plane created quite a cacophonous environment that the PT handled with great aplomb. During his visit, little Isaiah, 1½ years old, tried hard to fit into Grandpa's slippers and walker.

Dan and Carrie arrived the next day, Thursday evening. Since it was late, their kiddos were sleepy and could be transferred directly to prepared beds. "All was calm, all was bright," for them. The next PT visit was proposed to be when Dan and Carrie's family was leaving. We tweaked that appointment time so the chaos was not repeated.

The surprise total hip replacement was certainly a cloudy event but there were lots of silver linings.

• I abandoned "the list".
• We had been shy one bed to accommodate sleeping for everyone. The hospital bed cured that shortage. It was also paid for by insurance.
• Having the visiting families here was a help in many aspects. Jeremy installed a hand-held shower head and an elevated toilet seat. He got the oil changed in one of our cars. Robin changed and prepped all guest bedding. She was a great help in readying for Dan and Carrie's later arrival.
• Having the visiting families was also a distraction in that those kids lifted Frank's spirits. Frank said he could lie in the hospital bed with his eyes closed and just listen to and wallow in all the laughter and love being exchanged about him.
• Expectations for perfection and gourmet meals were dropped and the pressure to be like a Norman Rockwell painting was gone.
• Frank being unable to drive his new car is a bit of a bummer but on the bright side, had we not bought that RAV 4 when we did, I would have had no vehicle high enough or with sufficient leg room to transport Frank home with all his positional restrictions. The most difficult constraint to honor is that he is not permitted to bend at the hip joint an angle tighter than 90 degrees. Sitting in a too low chair or couch or toilet seat violates that rule. Getting in a car is an orchestrated procedure involving strict sequencing and pre-planned contortion of non-hip body parts. It is tantamount to loading a 6'4" plank into the passenger compartment of a car without bending it.
• My being forced to drive the new car because of the situation made me overcome my timidity with the new vehicle sooner, instead of procrastinating until later.
• Jeremy and Dan finished putting up those blessed curtains that caused it all.
• Frank is usually hard to buy for, but this year he got a lot of Christmas gifts from me - a walker tray, a shower chair, a raised commode, an extra length shoe horn, a grabber, a clothes hooker, and several refreezable, body hugging packages of frozen lima beans. These are gifts he will definitely use.

Today is Thursday, December 15. Dan's family returned to SoCal on Monday and Robin's family returned to Oklahoma on Tuesday. Hence I have some time to blog. The house is a lot quieter, a lot roomier, and once we recuperate from company and get a bit of rest, I admit it may seem a bit lonelier. But not just yet. With the influx of therapists and visiting friends and multiple phone calls, being dull is not a concern for now. All in all, things worked out as well as could be expected under the surprise circumstances. We did not have perfection but we had excellence. We will have fond memories of the cross-family cousin pairings are shown in the next two photos. Side by side Autumn and Vivian are 4 and 2½ years old. Nose to nose Isaiah and Lillian are 1½ and ½ years old.

We disbursed the vintage knitted stockings this year to both families. Each family will celebrate December 25th in their own homes this 2016. It was time. Frank and I will have a quiet, and hopefully calm, Christmas - the two of us. I collect sayings and thoughts that amuse me or cause me to ponder. I will share two of them here. Frank and I will "not cry that [the family celebration] is over; we will smile that it happened." Also, "Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass; it is about learning to dance in the rain."

After all, although this early Christmas visit did not transpire quite as planned, Grandkids Giggling on the couch under a Grinch quilt are never, ever a bad thing. To borrow (and edit) a line or two from Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas ...

[Frank's hip] HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!  IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same.