Ponder Post: Three Recent Reads

Plane flights are a good time for me to catch up on reading. I finally get to those books for which I have the best of intentions but for which I seem to succumb to the worst of distractions.

Fifty Shades of Grey
On my recent flight out to see my sister I took with me on the plane the NY Times bestseller, Fifty Shades of Grey. I'd heard about the red carpet drama between the lead actress of the Fifty Shades movie, Dakota Johnson and her mother, Melanie Griffith at the 2015 Oscars –  what mother would want to watch her daughter in such a risqué role? Frank and I went to see the movie out of curiosity, even though it had poor ratings.  Yes, it was very explicit but it was a romance, too. Then a friend told me that the book was better than the movie because the blooming of love, and not just raw sex, was more prominent in the book than in the movie and you could understand the characters better. The movie was acceptable and I am glad I went; but, the ending was abrupt and very, very poor leaving me wanting to understand the characters better and make more sense about their actions. So I decided to read the book.

Yes. There was a lot of sex. But there was also a lot of tongue in cheek e-mail exchanges and clever verbal banter between the wealthy young businessman Christian and the college student Anastasia that I found very entertaining. Christian really does care for Anastasia, almost like a first love, and is very protective and considerate of her. Although very little is left to the imagination in the erotic scenes, there is an air of mystery that permeates the book. There are underlying reasons based on his childhood and adolescence why Christian has such off the wall sexual desires and, in the first book of the trilogy, those reasons are beginning to be gradually teased out. Rather than viewing Christian as a deviant, I began to view him as a victim of circumstances who was trying really hard to be "normal". I did find the choice of first name to be simultaneously awkward, ironic, and weirdly prophetic. I am glad I read this book and I plan to finish out the trilogy. I need to find out what makes this guy tick.

Oddly enough, I sat next to two elderly ladies on my flight east and I felt like I needed to have my book in a plain brown wrapper or within a magazine to hide the title. Then the woman next to me asked what I was reading. I somewhat sheepishly showed her the Fifty Shades of Grey cover. We had a great conversation about the book and movie and her interest was piqued enough that she said she was going to order it from Amazon when she got home. I told her she might want to check it out of the library instead. Sometimes what you order on Amazon can influence the recommendations they give you for the future. We had a laugh about that and she said "Oh, my! Maybe I will check it out of the library instead."

Life, Animated
The second book I read on this trip, on the return flight back west, was Life, Animated, a non-fiction work by Pulitzer Prize winning author Ron Suskind. It is subtitled "a story of sidekicks, heroes, and autism."  Our family members are avid Disney fans, and although Alex is not diagnosed as autistic, he has a strong attachment to his Disney VHS tapes. I'd read a excerpt from this book prior to its release. I was so fascinated and it seemed so relevant to us, that I pre-ordered it from Amazon. I was not disappointed.

Autism often has auditory processing disorders associated with it. As a toddler, the young son, Owen, lost his ability to understand language and communicate with his family but seemed obsessed with watching Disney animated movies. Serendipitously, Walt Disney typically advised his animators that the characters in the movies needed to have such exaggerated facial expressions, that the audience should be able to interpret the emotions and get the gist of the plot, even with the sound turned off. Also, in the presence of the sound, the characters voices were often given such a recognizable tone and cadence to them that the intent could be understood even if the words could not be. Very few people can escape having tears well up in their eyes at the wordless scene in Dumbo where the mother elephant is chained up and cradles her baby Dumbo with her trunk from within her prison circus wagon.

Such an exaggerated combination of approaches to animated movies provided two key links enabling the conventional world and the world of autism to cross talk with each other. Parents and teachers of Owen were able to weave a teaching program drawing heavily from dialogues and scenes from Disney movies that could elicit emotions, reactions, and exchanges across the two previously isolated worlds. There are the struggles to find appropriate educational placements for Owen and the disheartening exclusions from social and community situations. Slugging through some testing jargon and psychobabble makes for a bit of slow reading about two thirds way through but it does not dominate the book. When there are periodic breakthroughs, it is amazing to see the wisdom and perceptive interpretations that come forth from Owen's mind, once it can be accessed.

There is a famous optical illusion that can be viewed as a young maiden by one person or an old hag by another person.

Until there is someone, some bridge person or crossover technique, who can see both the hag and maiden and point her out to each person, the two camps will be forever doomed to be isolated in their own point of view. I found Life, Animated a fascinating example of two diverse worlds beginning to understand each other.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up
This internationally bestselling book was an impulse buy at Costco because of the catchy title and its diminutive size. The hardcover version measures only about 5" x 7" and is just about ¾" thick.

It had a few clever tips and was a quick, bemusing, but otherwise mediocre read in my opinion. Other Amazon customers thought otherwise based on its online reviews.

The basic theory is great – to keep only what sparks joy. The suggested purge order is quite reasonable. As a purger, start with clothes and personal items. Personal in this case does not mean sentimental items but rather items pertaining only to the purger and whose discarding involves and affects no one but the declutterer. Exactly how to make the decision to let go of something is a bit of a stretch. The declutterer is to physically hold each object and concentrate on how its speaks to her and ask does it bring joy. If not, she is to respectfully thank the object for its service before disposing of it.

It was originally written for a Japanese audience with that culture's typically tiny living quarters. Space is a highly rationed commodity. From this perspective it was interesting how a typical Japanese closet was described. Also, true to the culture, objects are perceived to have feelings and a life of their own. Her anthropomorphism may seem strange to our culture but it is a good imaginative tool to use when organizing. Think of how that poor sweater feels squashed at the bottom of the pile or how that hardworking handbag never gets a chance to be relieved of its load!

General advice is to discard before organizing. To do this gather all items of the same genre together so it can be seen how much duplication and volume there is.  Keep all items of one kind together when stored, not scattered in different rooms where they might be used. Some tips on storage configurations were good. Vertical storage is definitely preferred over stacking since all items can be seen and accessed individually. Somewhat contradictory though, folding and rolling placement in drawers is preferred over hanging in closets. Stroking each item as it is folded, rolled, and placed on edge connects the owner to the item and thanks the item for its service.

This book made me think of Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid. There is wisdom in each culture and if we can be open-minded enough to not scoff at it, we can gain a better perspective into our every day lives. This book was effort effective. I will thank it for its service and send it on its way.