Ponder Post: Time Alone

Frank just came back from a week visiting our daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter in Oklahoma. I picked him up from the airport this morning. It is good to have him home. He had been gone a week and it just whizzed by. We both enjoyed our time apart in different ways.

Her mommy loved Rainbow Brite, too.

What I enjoyed about this week was the total lack of structure and total freedom. I went to bed as late as I wanted, midnight or even 1:00 a.m. I ate one decent size meal early to mid afternoon and did not worry about dinner. The first morning after he left I picked up, vacuumed, cleaned (shallow surface clean only), and vacuumed (only what was exposed), all in moderation, so I could enjoy a fresh environment all to myself for the entire week. I did not clean again afterward other than washing my own dishes and making my half of the bed that got slightly rumpled.

I answered e-mails, blogged, did some reading, quilted, and surfed the web, ordering a living room lamp and some fabric on line. I watched a few old movies, so old that we have only VHS tape versions -– Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail,  and Only You. (Frank usually does not like to watch movies again once he has seen them.) Yes, the Olympics were on, but I recorded them and fast forwarded through the boring parts. How thrilling is it to watch a pair of guys, dressed alike in Star Trek type body suits with skin-tight hoods, different only by color, speed race on a oval slab of ice? I also skipped the 1 hour and 40 minutes of bobsled runs that all look identical to me. I enjoyed the ice dancing, though, the snowboard races among four competitors, and the aerial ski jump tricks.

I did venture out of the house. After dropping Frank off at the airport last Thursday morning I went out to lunch with a friend. On Sunday I bowled with Alex and stopped by our local mall afterward for a couple hours. I mailed a package (to granddaughter-to-be), dropped off some discards at the local thrift store, and shipped back some UGGs slippers from Zappos that were not at all comfortable. On Tuesday I went out to lunch with a different friend.

This all sounds mundane and begs the question, "Didn't I miss Frank?" I thought of him daily, saved parts of the newspaper for him, recorded shows I thought he'd like, and spoke to him each night. What I pondered during this week was that this time by myself, solo, as good as it was, was just about the right duration. My thoughts could not help but drift toward a scenario, hopefully not until a long, long, time in the future, where this alone situation could be true all the time. That would really suck. I wonder, as one of us approaches the inevitable, do our minds and hearts become more prepared and accepting of losing a loved one? I sure hope so. People do adjust. Until then, I am committed that Frank and I are going to milk this retirement for all its worth.

Castle is our favorite TV show.  I recorded it and refrained from watching it Monday night. When Frank and I got back from the airport, we kicked back on the couch and watched it together. In the middle of the day no less! Yay!

Frank and I look forward to Castle each Monday night.