Meeting William

Our fifth grandchild, (second grandson) was born on April 13, 2018 and named William Daniel. We wait anxiously by the phone the day of his birth. His C-section scheduled for 9:00 am went smoothly, but we did hear from Dan until close to 1:00pm when he had a chance to text and later phone. This is the first photo we got of William being held by his dad shortly after his birth.

And here is our first glimpse at 8 lb 9 oz William Daniel, all by himself, just hours old in the hospital.

Frank and I had originally planned a drive-down visit to SoCal on Father's Day weekend. I declared I could not wait that long, so this week we flew down for a brief visit on Tuesday, April 24 and back on Thursday, April 26th. Sandwiched in between, on Wednesday, April 25th was our son Dan's 35th birthday.

Tuesday: Our flight landed at 4:00pm and we drove directly to Dan and Carrie's home. I tried to pack lightly, with only one change of clothes, planning to wear the same items down and back on the travel days. I was quite proud of myself, especially when we spotted this vehicle on the road on our drive from the Santa Ana airport to Dan and Carrie's home in Lake Forest. This group does not travel light!

I did have one extra suitcase though full of gifts for  the family. I never arrive empty-handed much to the barely contained dismay of my son and daughter-in-law due to their extra space challenged home. We would open the grandkids' gifts later that evening.

After a brief meet and greet of a sleeping William at their home, where I got to hold him for the first time, we scooted off for dinner and socializing at the community event Taco Tuesday convened at one of the Baker Ranch cabana clubs. Carrie asked me if she should take back William while I ate. I was starving but refused to give him up to eat. How often does one get to hold an eleven day old infant? His shirt label quips "tiny but mighty". Everything is relative of course. I would venture to say that a baby who is 8 lb 9oz at birth is not tiny in the newborn scheme of things. He sure is might cute in my mind, though.

I held him and ate simultaneously, picking the occasional bit of stray shredded lettuce off his forehead. He did not stir at all. When he did eventually wake, I reluctantly handed him off to Carrie to nurse.

Two-year old Lillian wanted to go to the pool so Dan took her away to that area of the cabana club to swim with her. Four-year old Vivian wanted to run around in the grassy area with her friends. "Run around" is a mild understatement. She tore around full tilt with a group of boys each one taller than her by at least one head height. She is very social, not at all shy, and she is fast! Dan asked Frank and me to keep her within eyesight and it did indeed take both of use to do just that. This is a little girl who comes home from daycare and changes to one of the princess dresses in her closet, so she is characteristically not a tomboy; but her bursts of energy were sure a surprise to us. I do not know how Dan and Carrie are going to juggle things and keep up now that they are outnumbered: Kids–3, Parents–2.

After we came home from the Taco Tuesday event, we opened the grandkids' gifts. I'd brought William's baby quilt (also shown in my DianeLoves2Quilt blog post for 4/27/18).

I'd also made soft velvet velour stuffed kitties for Vivian and Lillian (also shown in my DianeLoves2Quilt blog post for 4/28/18). They have an awake and an asleep side – just like their little brother William.

After some teeth brushing the girls were off to bed. Carrie also retired with William. We and Dan stayed together a bit longer chatting. It was slightly before 10:00 pm before we checked into our hotel and subsequently we old folk were tired out. I suspect the young parents Dan and Carrie were also.

Wednesday: Dan rose early the next morning to take 4-year old Vivian to day care for her 9:00 am dance class while Frank and I ate breakfast at our hotel. Dan then came by our hotel room with almost 2-year old Lillian before we all left to take her to a park. The child bucket swing was made out of black rubber and so it was hot. We rinsed it off with water to cool it. To dry it we first inverted it and then swung it empty so the breeze would finish the job. Grandpa wore the inverted bucket while it drained of the excess water. Lillian looks like she is hiding her face and saying "I don't know him...."

She was very much on board though, when Grandpa starting pushing her in the swing.

Dan picked Vivian up from pre-school after lunch and before nap time to visit some model homes. I painted Vivian's fingernails and toenails when were were home for a brief time. I also painted Lillian's toenails but only one fingernail. We were afraid two year old fingers would not be able to stay still long enough for the polish to dry. Probably toes wouldn't either, but feet do not tend to get into as many things as hands do. 

Skipping nap time has consequences, however. Vivian conked out on the 25 minute drive to the model homes.

Once there though, the girls had a blast exploring. They liked this big stuffed giraffe in one of the bedrooms.

There is a rumor that bunk beds may be in their future so they were checking these out.  Hmm ... how is the view from the top bunk?

Vivian decides to stretch out and enjoy the bottom bunk, also.

Yes, it was his birthday, but Dan says he likes to grill and so he cooked a delicious tri-tip meal, with vegetables and crescent roll sides.

Frank and Dan rushed off after dinner to take Vivian to her evening swim lesson. When they returned we all sang Happy Birthday and Dan opened his gifts. Carrie had gotten him some Travis Mathew™ shirts he likes and his favorite jeans. We'd also brought him a few items to open: a non-fiction business type book, a more fun fiction read, and a barbecue grill cleaning tool.  

Later in the evening we had Claim Jumper pie for dessert. Dan loves chocolate silk pie so this was a great choice in lieu of cake and candles.

After the girls were tucked into bed and William and Carrie were retired for the night – well at least for the first part of the night until William got hungry again – I asked Dan if he wanted to play a game to round out his birthday celebrations. I suggested Monopoly since I know that is one of his and his dad's favorites. "But, Mom, you hate Monopoly..." he responded. He is right but I answered, "For your birthday, I will play." So starting at about 9:00 pm we three played Monopoly, played more Monopoly, and played even more Monopoly. I went bankrupt and got eliminated about three hours into the game. (Game longevity and usually losing contribute somewhat to my personal distaste for the game.) Alas, this turn of the game, my having to give my properties back to the bank, breathed new life into the seemingly perpetual battle. 

Dan and his dad see-sawed back and forth in a monetary power struggle that came precariously close to a definitive winner many, many times. First road repair assessments on the multiple houses and hotels would deplete someone's cash reserves. Then the high rent on one of the properties would almost but not quite wipe out the opponent's money piles. Luxury tax reared its ugly head on those who were cash rich at the time. Dan and Frank were each pleased the times they landed in jail and could avoid landing on the high rent districts. By 1:30 am or 2:00 am –  I cannot recall the  exact time because I was sprawled out on the couch listening to the cheers and groans – Frank finally emerged the victor. Dan was a good sport about it. He enjoyed the game even if he did lose. It was no longer his birthday by that time anyway. I for one loved seeing the fun (prolonged) interaction between father and son.

Thursday: We had stayed up way too late on Wednesday night so Thursday would have to be some scaled back ventures before we flew back home that evening. Dan told us he was up by 5:30 am and I suspect Carrie's sleep was interrupted several times. Carrie went to a doctor's appointment and took William with her. Frank and I watched the movie Jumanji while Dan took a short nap and joined us halfway through. Frank and I had missed it while it was in the movie theaters, having been warned that all the good parts had been revealed in the trailers. That turned out not to be true, and so we enjoyed it immensely.

I rode with Dan to pick the girls up from daycare and we stopped to bring home dinner from Luna Grill, a restaurant billed as "fresh Mediterranean" and "the ultimate kabobery".

 

I stayed in the car with Vivian and Lillian while Dan went into the kabobery. He was no further than about twenty feet from the car when Lillian realized he was gone and began crying "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" I would have taken her to join her dad but Vivian wanted to stay in the car and I was not going to leave her. I whipped out my cell phone and started the app Baby Bubbles. It is described as

"the first 100% free bubble popping game for babies and toddlers that also has NO ADS and NO INTERFACE". As bubbles rise on the screen, the viewer pokes them to pop them before they float off the top. A lullaby and a baby giggling are background sounds. Lillian loved it and it engaged her totally. She shared it by taking turns with her sister so it worked out great while Dad was unavailable.

Dan got an assortment of chicken and beef shish kabobs and they were excellent. I learned shish means skewer and kabob means a dish of pieces of meat, fish, or vegetables roasted or grilled.

After dinner we opened a box of presents my sister Maxine had sent. She'd knitted a sweater for William but made it in an 18 month size so he could wear it for a longer period of time. We tried it on Lillian for her to model it and she would not take it off.

We paused for a posed photo on the couch before we went out to get in our rental car and drive off to the airport. Note that the booties that coordinate with the sweater fit Lillian well, also. Frank, Lillian, Vivian, and I are all smiling at the same time!

Lillian is hugging her daddy's legs as we loaded up the car. Vivian, after retreating to the threshold of the garage murmured quietly, "That was a very short visit." Oh... a mini-stab to my heart...

It was indeed short, but we promised to return in June, stay a bit longer, and pace ourselves better to do more interactive play with Vivian and Lillian. Our flight out that evening was delayed a half hour but we were home before midnight. We did not turn into pumpkins... just exhausted, happy, zombies.

Ponder Post: The Power of Moments

The Power of Moments ©2017 is the fourth book I have read by the Heath brothers, Chip and Dan. First, I'd avidly read and strongly liked Made to Stick ©2007 and reviewed it in my post for 4/19/14. I found it the most enjoyable of the four and the easy going style of the authors was conducive to read others of their works. Next, I'd read Switch ©2010 and reviewed it in my post for 12/2/14. It flowed very readily and was full of examples just as Made to Stick had been, so it, too, was a worthy non-fiction read. I am pretty sure I read Decisive ©2013. I recognize the cover but for the life of me cannot recall one aspect or detail from the book. Either it was unimpressive or my memory is failing; but neither scenario lends itself to a rousing recommendation of the book. Hmm... I have no blog post about Decisive so perhaps I am mistaken and never did read it. Last week, I put a hold on it from my local library. After a couple chapters into it I should be able to tell if I am confused or if it lacked luster.

But I digress. What did I think of Chip and Dan Heath's most recent publication, The Power of Moments? It had an interesting concept in the early chapters. Research shows that "we tend to remember the best or worst moment of an experience, as well as the last moment, and forget the rest". Situations in the book bring bring this idea to life. For example if a family of five during a DisneyWorld visit were pulsed every hour to rate their experience at the moment on a scale of 1 to 10, the average might be say 6.5 (an exhilarating ride on Space Mountain or getting personalized mouse ears versus standing in line the hot sun or dropping an ice cream cone). Ask those same people after their visit how they's rate it and the number would most likely be higher. That last memorable moment was probably the fireworks.

Usually these authors have an acronym or some other means to remember the concepts in their book. Made to Stick uses the acronym SUCCESs as a memory tool, illustrating why ideas survive. SUCCESs stands for Simple Unexpected Concrete Credible Emotional Stories. In Switch rather than an acronym, there is a vision to enable recalling how to inspire change. The reader was instructed to picture someone on an elephant that you want to go somewhere different: Direct the Rider ➔ Motivate the Elephant ➔ Shape the Path.

In The Power of Moments there are four elements : Elevation, Insight, Pride, and Connection. They could have spelled the acronym EPIC but even the Heath brothers claimed that to do so was too self aggrandizing. The order of the letters is not quite right either. The table of contents reads

I enjoyed the first portion of this book because the examples were eclectic. I could relate to thinking back on Moments chapters (1&2), For example I remember Frank asking me gently, as we walked back up the aisle after having just gotten married, "Would you be terribly upset if I told you your wedding gown is falling apart?" (The sheer fabric of a sleeve was fraying at an armhole seam.)

I could envision examples of my own throughout the Elevation chapters (3&4) discussing building peaks and thinking outside the box. There were those birthday parties we sponsored out in our backyard using empty pancake syrup bottles as squirt guns. I remember making a pretty snazzy hamburger cake for my son's ninth birthday that was definitely different. The colors are not quite right in the following photo: the "blue" lettuce leaves on the bottom bun were really green spearmint sugar-coated jelly candies rolled flat. The bun bottom was baked in a cake pan and the bun top was baked in a pyrex bowl.

I began to get a bit lost in the Insight chapters (5&6) since many of the examples were career oriented and, being retired, that ship has sailed for me. There were cases of "Gee, do I really want to be doing this job for the rest of my life?" My days of having an epiphany is that arena are long gone. And certainly, once you are buried deep in raising three kids, you do not dare say, especially on a bad day, "Do I really want to be doing this?" I suppose the chapters on Pride (7,8,9) I could associate with awards for my kids – horseback riding, swimming, honor roll, etc. – but when I looked back at job awards or recognition when I was working, they were kind of hollow. That is probably one point of the book; how to keep those recognitions (at a weekly or monthly or quarterly meeting) from being empty and hollow.

I stubbornly completed the book but felt that the latter half was too business oriented for me. The first two books about sticking and changing I could apply to my life now even though I suspect their original target audience was for those with a career in business. The authors' backgrounds indicate business teaching is their strength. Chip Heath is a professor at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Dan Heath is a fellow at Duke University's Center for Advancement of Social Entrepreneurship (CASE) center. So for me, I would give this book a mediocre 3 star rating. Since it is chock full of examples and written in a conversational tone – not like some heavy, ponderous, educational tome. I suspect it would rate higher for the target commercial audience. Amazon readers rated it 4.7 stars out of 5.

By the way, I did check Decisive out of the library and skimmed it. I recognized enough that I must have read the book but remembered so little of it I concluded it lacked luster, so much so I forgot to write a post about it. I am not going to read it again. Besides, the font was smaller than in the Power of Moments – a very decisive factor for me in not re-reading it.

Ponder Post: The Wife Between Us

The Wife Between Us ©2018 by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen is categorized as a psychological thriller. The overview in the front flap of the book reads:

When you read this book, you will make many assumptions. You will assume you are reading about a jealous ex-wife. You will assume she is obsessed with her replacement – a beautiful, younger woman who is about to marry the man they both love. You will assume you know the anatomy of this tangled love triangle. Assume nothing! ... Read between the lies.

One reviewer of the book claimed.

This one will keep you guessing.

As a suspense novel, I was indeed compelled to keep turning each page to read what would happen next. I am unsure, however, if this irresistible urge stemmed from literary suspense or a dogged belief that this book just had to get better at some point. The "keep you guessing" review comment was true. The narrative was extremely confusing. The chapters were written in first person but it was initially unclear if the "I" was Vanessa or Emma, or Vanessa looking back on her life as Emma, both of whom were nicknamed Nellie, for nervous Nellie and both of whom are so strikingly similar in appearance they could be the same person. Was the psychology of this novel that the two women were really one with a dual personality disorder? Was that the conundrum I was supposed to "figure out"? Invariably, once I reached the third paragraph of a chapter, I would come upon an inconsistency that forced me to re-read the first couple paragraphs of each chapter twice to see if my assumption was correct about who the "I" was. Maybe other readers would be able to faithfully forge ahead and trust the confusion to iron itself out eventually, instead of repeatedly backtracking as I did. Like a dog with a bone, I was too anal to let it go.

The husband in all this was Richard. I know for sure there was only one of him! He is very handsome, very smart, very rich, very savvy, very loving, but subtly controlling in his own way. His interactions with Vanessa/Emma are fascinating and often contradictory. At points he was really sweet and at other times extremely annoying.

I had never heard of The Wife Between Us until I picked it up off the book counter at Costco and was drawn in by text on the front flap. Since Costco has a limited selection they typically promote what appeals to the majority, so the probability of a book being reasonably appealing are good. The Wife Between Us was also an instant New York Times best seller. On the surface this book should be a good read, however, I had very mixed emotions about this novel. Normally, to avoid bias, I do not read the Amazon reviews until I have written my own. I was curious to learn how well-liked this book was among the Amazon audience. It was rated 4.2 out of 5 stars.

Amazon cites it as the "19th Most Read" book from its sales. I do not think that data is verifiable. It may have been the 19th most purchased book on Amazon but how many of those buyers actually read the entire book? I plowed open-mindedly through the first three quarters to clear up my haze. I then whipped through the final quarter dénouement. Vanessa and Emma actually are two women who look very much alike and have very similar personalities. Revealing this fact is not a spoiler but more so an admittance of my lack of perception skills or over-abundance of suspicion in being unable to figure this out sooner. I am almost slightly tempted to read the novel again to see if I could enjoy it more while not struggling with the women's single or dual identities.

So how do I rate The Wife Between Us? I did like the compare/contrast of the two women and the evolution of the interactions between the two. There were two twists at the end – one slightly contrived that I did not see coming and the other believable but that could have been supported and intimated more throughout the book. The Wife Between Us is a great book for a book club or for discussion. I was a bit lost reading it in a vacuum. 

Perhaps this book selection was a mismatch between me as the audience and the novel as the subject matter. I have been reading a lot of romance novels lately. Maybe my brain has just turned to mush as a result. Read this novel for yourself and form your own opinion. I hope I have raised your curiosity. The length of this review bears testament that there was a enough of food for thought in there worth digesting. I give it a fairly non-committal rating of 3 stars out of 5.

Weekend with Dan and Granddaughters

Dan flew up to Livermore with Vivian and Lillian Friday night March 2nd. Carrie at 8 months pregnant at this point, stayed home, ostensibly to rest  but more likely to run her self ragged nesting for baby #3 and doing tasks more easily accomplished without the "help" of a nearly 4 year old and a nearly 2 year old underfoot.

Frank picked them up from Oakland, having done his pre-homework of getting two car seats out of the attic and installing them in the Rav 4. Of course there was preplanning and several tests/emails and photos exchanged to be sure the seats were adequate.

Oh, by the way – the car seat boxes do not fit through the opening in to the attic at the top of those folding stairs. We keep the boxes collapsed for storage and bought car seat backpack carriers in which to keep the seats during their sojourn in our attic.

Here is one of these carriers in use on Frank's back when Frank and I went to SoCal to help with Vivian during Lillian's birth.

If you think you will downsize your inventory of childhood items once you have grandchildren and pass it on to them, think again. Our house now has two carseats, a high chair, a baby bouncer, two bed rails, and a pack and play , all newly purchased in addition to our stored inventory of baby paraphernalia from our own kids. At least our changing table is getting used. The crib has drop sides and so is deemed too dangerous per today's safety standards. It is a marvel that my three kids survived sleeping in it.

So favorite foods purchased, pack-and-play and bed rails deployed, childhood toys stationed for convenient play in the family room... we were ready and sooo excited for the visit! Their flight landed at 8:40pm and although pretty much on time, it was after the girls' bedtimes and so there was little time to visit that first evening. Lillian went directly to sleep in the clothes she had worn for the trip, so soundly zonked out that her daddy did not disturb her to change her into pajamas.

The next morning, Saturday, the girls awoke at a reasonable hour and were excited to explore and play with all we had set out in the family room. It was a leisurely morning and all enjoyed lounging in their pajamas. Except for Lillian of course who was still wearing yesterday's outfit. That was a big whoops on Dan's and our part. Her mom Carrie noticed it right away in photos we sent and questioned how well her baby girl was being looked after! Big whoops. Not in failing to change Lillian into and out of pajamas but rather in sending those photos so her mom found out!

Here is Lillian quite happily wearing her daddy's boots that Dan had left downstairs overnight. She put them on all by herself.

Lillian is singing with grandpa as her rocks her on the rocking horse from when our kids were small. Frank has a protective hand behind her back because she could really get the amplitude of those rocks to be huge. She was totally fearless.

Vivian and Lillian played together on the melodica Frank gave me for my birthday last year. Vivian does the breath control and the two of them are going for some serious finger action on those keys. 

After tiring of the jam session we decided we needed a low key outing. We had planned to do something on a larger scale but the girls were having such fun hanging out that we scaled back our goals. We took a quick ride to the grocery store. What had been a bright sunny morning sudden got dark and menacing during the few blocks from our house to the store and it hailed! We thought is was unique and kind of cool but Vivian was not so sure...

The crystal formations were a bit larger that the gravel you'd find in a home aquarium tank. It lasted only little while during our less than five minute ride and was very local. Lucky us.

Once inside the store we found a race car cart for the girls to ride in.

Lillian was already past the hail experience and ready to enjoy a good ride. Vivian took just a tad longer.

On Sunday morning we again were laid back and this time I played the melodica while the girls accompanied me on the piano. 

I let Vivian pick what song we played and she picked a song from the Disney movie Tangled. 

The love song is titled I See the Light. Here is our version. (I hope the video loads; it is my first time doing this.)

The song is really quite melodic and pretty. You can see and hear the original version on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyrYgCvxBUg 

After a breakfast of pancakes it was time to visit and play with our 18 year old cat Wima. She really is very patient with the girls. She does not jump or shy away when they squeal with glee. Being quite deaf acts in her favor. Lillian offers her a catnip pillow while Vivian's choice is a ball with a bell. I think smell won out over sound in this case.

Frank joined them and Wima still relaxed even with all the attention. Frank fetched a toy for Vivian to dangle in front of Wima.

Though eighteen years old Wima still likes to bat at the toy as if she were a kitten.

Their return flight was schedule for 4:10 pm. When you back calculate being there 1½ to 2 hrs before the flight and a 45 minute trip to the airport, we planned  to leave about 1:30. There was not a full day to do any major activities. The day was bright and sunny and we took a short walk. It is hard to believe from this photo that it had been hailing less than 24 hours previous.

We planned to pack leisurely and then have a light lunch. Then Dan got a text from SWA that the flight was delayed 1 hour and 55 minutes, till 6:05pm. That changed the plan. Naps before the flight were back in the picture. He put the girls down to sleep, loaded their luggage and stroller into the car,  and then Dan helped Frank install some new lights in our upstairs hallway. 

They'd done two out of four lights and then decided not to push to finish all of them. I was now shortly before 3:00 pm, the revised time we were to leave for the airport for the 6:05 flight. Then Dan got a text from SWA. The flight had been moved back to 4:10 pm! It was a 45 minute trip to the airport and the girls were still napping, both of them sleeping soundly. He and I woke and carried two sleeping children downstairs and out to the car and fastened them, groggy and grumbling, into their car seats. And we took off. 

Thank goodness for curbside checkin and a family line to expedite matters through security. An accommodating clerk at the ticketing counter phoned ahead to the gate and told the crew there to pre-prepare a gate check for the stroller and to expect a father and two little girls. SWA could not guarantee holding the flight and they could not guarantee the luggage would make it one board. Dan rushed through the security line but had to return to the ticket counter because the curbside attendant had not printed the necessary boarding pass for one of the girls. A second time he rushed through security only to be further delayed because Vivian had left some water in her bottle. Very nice fellow passengers let Dan ahead of them in the line. But then they all got in trouble because the order of the carryons going through screening was not the same order as the passengers. Dan ran full tilt down the terminal hallway shoving the stroller ahead of him and he did make it to the gate before the door closed on the plane, "sweating like a pig" per his words. The stewardesses smiled and said calmly, "You made it, Dad!" Whew, what an adventure! He did need to retrieve their luggage from the airport the next day but he was not complaining about that.

We had a great visit and the ending was certainly memorable. Next time we see Dan and Vivian and Lillian there will be a little boy Chambers. He is scheduled to arrive by C-Section tomorrow April 13th. So far, unlike Southwest Airlines there have been no last minute time adjustments.